Thoughts in Solitude

Khud Se Seekho

2010-05-11T21:25:00.004+05:30

Zindagi, rozz hamaari class leti hai...Nursery se school, fir college aur ab...yahaan...

This 3 min video perhaps tells us a truth. Whatever we see through others' eyes, whatever we learn from books and many other sources is not comparable to what we learn by ourselves. That is something which is more likely to stay with us as an enduring understanding. And I think I believe in this thought.

To add to it I would say it is the mistakes I make that teaches me more than anything else. I may or may not always know what to do. But because of the mistakes I would know what not to do and perhaps that's what counts.

Check this video out and think for yourself.

A new digital camera

2010-05-09T17:06:00.005+05:30

I bought a new digital SLR last week and have been trying different experiments using it. Here are some of them. Let me know any creative idea you have - I will try and see if I can capture it using the camera.

GiveIndia - Chase Community Giving

2010-01-18T21:54:00.000+05:30

Virtual Reality

2009-11-29T19:13:00.002+05:30

Virtual is as real as you want it to be - and reality, as virtual as you make it...if you so want...

- a friend

Forgive, O Lord

2009-11-06T21:20:00.001+05:30

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee and I'll forgive Thy great big one on me. - Robert Frost

India - A wish

2009-05-17T22:10:00.003+05:30

I was standing by the road when i heard the sound of flute. It was being played by a guy standing near a pedal rickshaw (one used to carry stuff from one place to another). There was a lady sleeping on the auto, with two 2-3 year olds sitting near her. Soon I saw a bhel-puri-wala, who had his stall on the road, go and offer a plate of bhel to the 2 kids.

The guy playing the flute was wearing a loose shirt with 1-2 buttons on and a towel wrapped around instead of pants. Their condition was visible. I looked at the guy and he got the indication that I was liking whatever he was playing. It was melodious, and the old hindi songs were sounding too sweet! Another plate of bhel was offered to the kids and the younger one just held it as if it was his and he wasn't going to share it with anyone :) The mother got up and had 1-2 bites too.

I had to go. As I moved towards the bike, the guy asked the 2 kids to wave a bye to me :) They did and so did I. I felt happy.

I wish to see a day when such artists are able to earn money using their talent and give food to their kids, instead of living on sympathy of others.

A Teacher

2009-03-06T22:14:00.002+05:30

Today was a very challenging day for me, as I tried teaching different things to students of totally different age groups.

Part 1: Students' age - 9-10 years

I have been going to a school since more than a month now, everyday, to be a part of Class 4 B at 1.20 pm. Whether I am an observer in the class or wearing the director's (read as teacher's) cap, I have loved it. As I entered the class, I came to know that their regular teacher was absent. The proxy teacher asked me if I needed any help and if she should be present with me. I was confident I would handle the kids and so requested her to leave. I had never thought about how easy or how difficult it would be with their teacher not present in the class. I had handled the class for 5-10 minutes when the teacher was away and I thought I would be able to handle it.

The class began. Luckily, I had taken the class yesterday and was going to continue from where I had left. I started by revising what was done in the last class. 5 minutes were gone and there was talking going around in the class.

Aaron was roaming here and there, Vatsal was messing up things with Rishi, Rishi was just not listening to anything, Yash wanted to talk about how his nose got hurt, Abhishek was busy poking Ishita, Deep was doing something on his own, Sarthak wanted to paint, Aditi wanted me to tell a story, Manan was quiet as usual, Anjana and Jay were obedient as always, Muarvi was busy playing with her own stuff, Yug was lost in his own world as always, Saurabh was banging the desk with his water bottle, Anish was at his desk but not listening I guess and Kinal, Nirali and Aarti were at their desks, quietly observing the chaos and the confused teacher. This was the scene in short.

Rishi had irritated me enough by not listening to me and so I thought of getting the class in place by threatening the chap! It seemed as if the daaku was threatening the villagers by punishing one of the villagers in front of everyone. I asked Rishi to come and stand near the blackboard. He didn't listen. Finally I raised my volume and asked him to stand out of the class. I told him that at the end of the class, I would be taking him to the princi's office. And that sort of made the class quiet. I could see everyone looking at Rishi and me. And so I repeated that thing again. I continued that for 2 3 minutes. If anyone made any noise, I would tell the chap that he would be joining Rishi too and so everyone was quiet. I restarted the revision. However, the silence didn't last longer. The teacher from the next class came to me for help as the internet wasn't working. I told her that I would come in some time, but she wanted me to fix it asap. I had to go. And by the time I came back, the class was in a mess again. I tried for 5 more minutes...but I failed to control the class and finally gave up. I put the chalk back in the box and told students to do what they wanted to. Students started saying sorry and all, but I had decided and I just didn't continue. I stood there for the remaining 10-15 minutes. Noise was still on and the kids were looking at me, talking, playing etc. They might have obeyed if I had started, but I didn't. I ended the class when the bell rang and left by thanking them. I had never thought it would be this difficult in the absence of their teacher and so was as always, not prepared for it. I think I will be able to handle it in a different and a better way next time.

"Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be so hard" - These lines best summarises it I think :)

Part 2: Student's age - 26 years

This is also about teaching, teaching how to drive a bike. I tried my best to scare the student, but I failed. We reached the ground where the bike lessons were had to be given. I gave the bike and stood on one side giving basic instructions about how to start and how to go ahead. The student did find the task a bit challenging for the first 5 minutes. Gear change hota tha toh accelerate nahi hota tha, accelerate hota thaa to gear nahi change hota tha and with all that going on for 5 minutes, I decided to go and sit on the bike and give instructions from behind. And soon I could see myself going around in the ground, without a stop for 5 continuous minutes. We had to stop not because the gears weren't changing, but because a car came in our way. I think the student deserves the credit of being a fast learner. I just had to keep patience every time the bike stopped and keep cheering for every small jump made.

I think as a teacher I learned two things today - patience and encouragement are the key things that a teacher has to use if he/she wants to learn the art of teaching. Whether it be kids or adults, they are probably two key things that might work.

The Fearless

2008-12-10T22:53:00.001+05:30

Have you seen kids or their parents or you shouting on seeing a kid near a fire or some other dangerous place? Am sure most of us would have. I saw a totally opposite kid and his parents today.

I was having my usual dose of chai at K K, while returning back from work. There are some labourers who live on that footpath. As I was finishing my tea, I saw one of those ladies talking to the chaiwala. And after some time, I saw her sitting there with a kid in her lap. The kid must been 4-5 years old. She stood up and went to get something. The kid’s dad was busy scraping the vessel in which they must have cooked their food. The kid was then on the floor when I saw his hand moving towards the chulha. I just stopped having the tea and was looking at what the kid was about to do. I was afraid he would burn his hands. He wasn’t stopping. The mother was still searching for something and the daddy was still scraping. The kid was right in front of him, but he was totally engrossed in the scraping activity. Finally I saw the mother turn and expected to hear a shrill sound or the name of the kid being called out. But to my surprise, she was as relaxed as the daddy. It wasn’t that she didn’t see the kid moving his hand towards the chulha. By then the kid had almost held the paper that was in the chulha. As he drew it out of it, I could see the red hot corner of the paper, trying to breathe in the available oxygen.

He boldly caught the paper and threw it the other way round and with a blow of air from his mouth he set the fire in place. Mummy and daddy had become ready to enjoy the heat of it with the kid. And as they felt the warm air, I kept looking at the three of them. What was it that made the kid, a 4-5 year old, so fearless? What was it that made the daddy and mummy so fearless? What was it that made them experience things without any fear? Why don’t we experience the same fearlessness? Maybe some of us do, but shouldn’t it be common? I don’t have answers to all these questions.

You have to watch this video!

2008-10-22T22:13:00.000+05:30

Kamaal hai na!

The Law of Attraction

2008-10-12T23:10:00.007+05:30

Hi! Kaafi time se likhna tha…had Lots of things in my mind. Everytime I thought I will write…but I didn’t :) Anyways…

Sometime back a movie called ‘The Secret’ was screened in our office. I won’t be talking about the movie here. Whoever wants to read can Google it. There was one thing that it said which I later found in 2-3 Bollywood movies. It said that if you really wish something, the entire world will help you in getting it. The week after that I was watching Om Shanti Om and there is a famous dialogue in the movie that said – ‘Itni shiddat se maine tumhe paane ki koshish ki hai, ki har zarre ne mujhe tumse milane ki saazish ki hai....kehte hai agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho toh poori kaynaat tumhein usse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai.’ And last week I saw Iqbal where N Shah was telling Shreyas – ‘Agar tumhe apne sapne pe bharosa hai to saari duniya tumhe woh poora karne mein madad karegi’. So in short, secret secret nahi raha lagta hai :)

Another thing that the movie talked about was the law of attraction. It said that you will attract anything that you strongly think about. It happened with me today. I lost my scooter around 3 months back. And since the past two months, I have been driving the bike that a friend of mine has given me (she thinks I will be able to take care of it!). It is an 11 year old Hero Honda Splendor and has an old number plate with a black plate and white fonts. The new rule says that you should be having a white plate with black fonts. I knew I had to get it changed but I was delaying it. So today when I went out, the thought came to my mind that I neither have the PUC certificate, nor I have the new number. And so I should be meeting the pandu soon. And guess what, a pandu caught me today. I had to pay a Rs. 100 fine. He started at 150 but then seeing no response on my face, he settled for 100 :)

Personally, I don’t believe in these things. But you can start believing them if you think these incidents were convincing enough :D

Clouds

2008-09-16T22:03:00.005+05:30

As a child (and even now) I was always fascinated by the aeroplanes. Its sound made my neck turn and my eyes scan the sky, trying to spot the plane based on the auditory information gathered by my two ears.

The most amazing thing were those tiny looking toys disappear behind the clouds but still make the sound. I wondered how people sitting in it might feel and see when they disappear behind the clouds. Here is a glimpse of it - I happened to sit in one of them and see the earth disappear behind the clouds as my plane moved.

These clouds are supposed to compete with other clouds at a photography contest held @ http://www.cuckooscosmos.com/PhotoGallery/topic/

Why?

2008-08-22T21:56:00.004+05:30

I was scanning TV channels when I stopped at one of them, showing a 'Just For Laughs Gags' type of show. There were 3 people who were moving around with huge piles of boxes that were stuck to each other. They scared people by making it look as if the pile was going to fall on them. I have to say - they were trying to be funny. And suddenly they try and throw the pile on 2 chicks and both of them throw their hands up. Guess what they had in their hands!

Yes, a cigarette. And just after they threw their hands up, they gave a smile as if to show that they were not cigarettes, but were lollipops...and slowly started drawing their hands down. Personally I think it’s perfectly ok, whether it is a male or a female, to smoke as long as the person is over 18 and understands the effects of it. However, I have rarely seen males hiding their cigarettes. But females…..! Why? I don’t know the exact reasons and can only formulate hypothesis. So what is it that makes them react in such a way? Is it we, the society, who are scaring them? Or is it still the nature of a woman – who is still in that mode, trying to break those stereotypical images of a ‘woman’...yet not completely out of it.

A Corny Affair!

2008-07-23T00:27:00.001+05:30

I had a corny affair a few hours ago. I have a friend who has got into a Big uni in the USA and so had invited a few people for dinner. I actually left early from office today (which gave a nice shock to my friend) to be there on time (after all - khaana jo tha :D). The place where I was supposed to go is a nice place. And when I reached, the two of them were already eating something. I just threw my helmet on the seat next to me and grabbed some food from their plate (I realised one of them stopped halfway as they tried offering me the food). The mushrooms they had ordered also arrived right on time. They asked me if I liked the dish. But I tried being honest and said I had never eaten it before. They weren't surprised :) I tried eating it. Khaana jo tha..achcha hi tha.

And then I was given the menu to order something. Now this is something I try and avoid because though I love eating food, I hardly understand their names and so I prefer that someone else does that part. I again tried being honest that I didn't understand anything and so it would be better that they ordered what they liked because I would not mind eating anything (as long as it is a veg food). They said I should still try and so I opened the menu. I had to order a sizzler. And I could just not go beyond one name. I told them that I had selected the dish and they should not laugh at me. And I read it aloud - "A corny affair"! We just could not resist laughing out loud! It had corn in it and I find it difficult to resist it. We finally ordered it. It was a wonderful evening, especially having the unexpected corny affair! :)

Do you agree?

2008-07-11T15:30:00.002+05:30

I think it is better to agree to disagree on something than to disagree to agree on something.

What do you think?

His Umbrella Queen

2008-07-03T12:57:00.001+05:30

He waited at the bus-stand under the shade. The dark clouds were swarming above him. He wrapped his books with his raincoat. His only fear was that they would get wet. A smile grew on his face. With the books safe, he could enjoy the rains. He loved the season and refused to miss the first shower. The dark clouds finally relented as the drops grew in size and number each second. He left the shade then and got on to his bike. People around him found his action strange. They ran in for shelter as the rain started pouring while he had done the complete opposite. He plugged in the key and went down the road with a roar. He enjoyed each drop that made contact with his physical being. He weaved his way through the bicycles, the bikes, the autos and the cars - all of them moved at even a slower speed than his.

Still lost among the raindrops, he took a left turn. Unconsciously, he slowed down. It wasn’t a pothole in the middle of a road nor was it the fierce wind. He saw her blurb of black and red in the middle of the road. As he got closer, he saw her fumbling with her huge red umbrella. She was dressed in black and made quite an impression with her contrasting umbrella. He had no idea what she was doing there…….coming or going…..running or walking. He saw her give up her struggle as the umbrella refused to relent. She ran into the building on the side of the road. Without thinking, he slowed his bike till it stopped. He parked his bike on the side and followed her inside.

He stood at the door but his eyes followed her. She sat in one of the middle rows. There was a couple performing on stage. Though their dance was interesting, his eyes kept going back to her. Her gaze seemed to be straying to some dark corner. He sensed there was someone there. He watched her and didn’t realize when the dance ended. There was a loud cheer from the front row. She stood up then and started walking towards the door……… towards him. He realized he would finally have a look at her face. As she walked past him, a hesitant smile crossed her face as she waited for him to allow her to pass through the door. He watched her silently as she boarded an auto and was out of his sight in a few seconds.

A smile grew on his face.
The things that this city's rain exposes people to. To feel it, he had run in.....to the rain, to a voluntary halt, to a momentary glance, to an unforgettable encounter.

http://tza-tza-tzu.blogspot.com/2008/06/his-dancing-queen.html

Jamuns and a change

2008-06-29T23:22:00.003+05:30

There is a Jamun tree in my house. Actually it is in my neighbour's house. But since 80% of the jamuns fall in our house, I like saying that it is in our house. I have spent 25 years of my life in this house and I remember eating jamuns from the time I was a kid. I remember my brother and I used to go and collect the jamuns, wash them under running tap water and eat them. We even used to get warnings from mummy and pappa as the jamuns usually had sand particles or some other dirt attached to it. But we didn't use to pay any attention to those warnings and enjoyed colouring our teeth and tongue purple by eating them.

We hardly collect them nowadays.

Today, two kids, Ajay and Gopal, made me recall those days. Two of them were sitting on the wall outside my house. As soon as my eyes met theirs, Gopal asked me if they could come inside and collect the jamuns. I looked at the ground full of jamuns, thought of something and invited them. But I told them not to jump from the wall but come through the gate. They came in and started collecting the jamuns. I asked them some basic questions like their name, where they lived, whether they go to school or not and the class they studied in. But they seemed to be engrossed in collecting as many fruits as their hands could hold and so I didn't question them any further. I suggested one of them to put the jamuns into their pockets and then continue collecting them again. They followed the suggestion and soon i could see a bulge hanging down the pocket of Ajay. I even got them a plastic bag in which they could keep the jamuns.

But as I stood there observing them, I could observe a change in myself. Till some years back, when such kids would climb the wall and ask us for the jamuns, we used to straightaway say no. We made sure that they left and waited for sometime to see that no one returned. However, today when the two kids asked me to come and collect the fruits, I just had to think for a second and I knew the answer. I know the answer for any such kid now onwards. It is a sign of change in me and I am happy about it.

After they left, I too bent down and tasted a few jamuns :) They still are the same, covered with sand all over but very sweet and purple from inside.

Do you know?

2008-06-29T00:27:00.003+05:30

Do you know what you are doing?

Do you know why you are doing what you are doing?

Do you know if you really want to do what you are doing?

Do you know if you want to do something else that you are not doing?

Do you know why you want to do that something else that you are not doing?

Do you know how you can do that something else that you are not doing?

I do not.

Bang@lore

2008-06-17T22:29:00.011+05:30

Dogs, hoardings, one ways, collegians, pulsars, stylish individuals/streets/buildings, amazing weather, tea/coffee shops, book stores etc would be the tags that one would use for Bangalore. I have been here since ten days now and have seen a lot of Bangalore (by chance :)) It is an interesting place. I would like to share some of the interesting experiences/learnings I have had here.

1. Follow the crowd. When driving in Bangalore, the best way is to follow the crowd. This will help you not getting trapped in a wrong side one-way. Because otherwise it is only after turning towards that side (that your smart, intuitive brain had suggested) you realise that you cannot go any further because the rest of the people on that road are already returning! (Find some of the most common road signs at the end of the post.)

2. Ask an autowala (at your own risk). It is useful and useless, both at the same time, to ask about a direction or a landmark to an autowala. They will say go straight and turn left. Ok. So you, an obedient soul, go straight and discover a left turn. Before you can decide whether to take a left turn or not, the vehicles behind will honk and honk and honk and you will decide not to turn left. The same thing will happen after 5 seconds that you will discover another left turn. And another. If you are lucky, there will be only one left turn. But immediately after you turn left, there will be a V and you will have to wait for another autowala to guide you. The autowalas are most of the time right. We have to go straight and turn left….but what they don’t reveal is how much straight do we need to go before we can take a left turn!

3. Let’s never eat here ever again. I have eaten at many different places in the local area here (Please do not ask me about Baristas/Pizza Huts/etc.) and can easily tell you where not to eat what. There are a plenty of restaurants in the city. But the cooks hardly know how to cook. Normally, I don’t know what the different dishes in the menu mean (apart from idli, dosa, sandwich, cutlets, bhel, bhaji pav, vada pav and a few more items). I can’t even differentiate the taste between two Punjabi vegetables (don’t tell me that even you cannot!). But still, I can tell you whether the food tastes good or not. And the experience here says, try eating the local, south Indian food, if you are really hungry. If you are not, just try and explore a few places. You will definitely find a good/reasonable place by the time you are extremely hungry. (Not to say that I didn’t like the food at all. :-l Thanks for whatever food I have digested in the past 10 days.)

4. Rain or no rain? The weather over here is simply superb. Just that it tries to fool you almost everyday. Everyday, in fact all the time it seems as if it is going to rain (heavily sometimes). But, it hardly rains. In the last 10 days, I have not seen rain more than thrice…four times maybe. But I have said, ‘Lagta hai abhi mast baarish hogi” almost everyday. This doesn’t mean that I am complaining. I like the weather in this city the most!

5. Books! Either you should know which book you want to buy or have enough time that you are ready to spare in a bookstore here. Because most of the bookstores here have a good collection of books and it’s highly likely that you will get lost in a shop full of books.

6. Kutte! Bada ajeeb sheher hai. There are just too many dogs, of different breeds, barking almost all the time (irrespective of whether its AM or PM). Average number of dogs per house in this city would be around 0.5. This means, per every two houses, you are likely to find a dog. And by per house I mean inside and not just on the road. I haven't seen any city with people so crazy about dogs. No doubt cost of living is high in this city! :)

7. Coffee shops/tea shops. This isn’t new anymore for a city. But the unique thing about Bangalore is some really good coffee/tea shops. Have been to only two of them, but both of them have been impressive. First one, Infinitea, a tea place which serves you a Variety of teas. The ambience and feel of the place will make you go there again. Second one, Indian Coffee House, a small coffee shop run by the co-op society of the workers of the coffee board of India. An old place, but extremely neat. Old posters on the walls promoting coffee written in the old font and waiters in a clean uniform with a paghdi on the head, really add charm to the place.

8. Respect Kannada. If you don’t know English but know Kannada, you will still be able to recognise any international/national brand. Whether it is Reebok, Nike, Barista, Café Coffee Day, Pizza Hut, ICICI Bank, Baskin Robins, Sony, Canon, Samsung, Compaq, Sun Microsystems, Educational Initiatives or Shivajinagar Bus Stand, you will be able to recognise it in a fraction of a second, provided your Kannada is good. I haven’t seen such kind of love and passion for the local language in any other city.

9. Tashan. It’s a highly stylish city – whether it be a car, a bike, a road, a hoarding, a showroom, a poster, a babe, not a babe, the city is full of styloos. Cool! Yeh Bangalore ka style hai re.

10. Chicks! How can I not mention them!? Did find a few here and there. But otherwise, the style market makes almost all wear the same mask and hence there is no point researching more. What you will really discover are true, pretty faces among these not-so-really pretty faces.

Most common road signs @ Bangalore -

Climax!

2008-06-16T13:41:00.000+05:30

"TGIF!" Yes. That was what I felt on Friday, The End of an extremely exhausting week. None of the deadlines were met. Targets weren't fulfilled. But still, the satisfaction of having worked hard (in fact harder) throughout the week was somewhere floating in the mind. We had already planned to go for a movie, Aamir, on Thursday and had even bought tickets in advance. 8 pm, Fun Cinemas. Honestly, we were trying to save some money by not going on Saturday or even the last show of Friday because from that show, till the last show of Sunday, the weekend rates are applicable – Rs. 250/- and maybe more. The cost per our ticket was Rs. 140.

Initially we had decided that if the work gets over by 6.45, we would go to the famous tea place, Infinitea, just opposite the theatre. But as expected, the work didn’t get over. At 6.50 I told the boss that the work we had to complete that day was 95% done. He laughed at me saying that we should cancel the movie J I knew he was kidding. 7.15 pm, and we packed our bags and left. Having harassed some 2 3 autowalas and a few other people at the signals, we reached the Fun Cinemas. As Ekta added a person in one of the lines at the ticket counter, I stood behind and started doing what I generally like doing at such places – observing people (and chicks :)). A few married couples, a few unmarried couples, a few single men and women and a few…etc. turned up. As I was observing them, I heard Ekta’s voice, slightly louder than the normal she would have had if asking just for the ticket/show timing/total price. And so I went there. I discovered that the guy on the other side of the ticket window was slightly confused. He told Ekta to show her the SMS she had received from them, confirming the advance booking and the booking number. He entered the number and asked us if we were sure we had booked the tickets for the movie – Aamir. He told us that the comp was saying it was for the movie Mere Baap Pehle Aap and not Aamir. Ekta told him that we were sure and she even told him that we could show the email we had received from them. He invited us inside his cabin. We went in and Ekta opened her mail box. She showed him the email where it was clearly written Aamir. He told us that the 8 pm Aamir show had got cancelled from that week and was surprised that we hadn’t received any email from their side.

It appeared as if he was trying to cheat, by giving us tickets of some other movie. But then he even offered to arrange tickets for any other movie that night, even if it meant the show was houseful. It was 7.30 and the next show was only at 9.30. Ekta was sure that she didn’t want to see movie in that show and so we had the option to take 2 tickets of any other movie or cancel all the 3 tickets and get the refund. We decided to watch Sarkar Raj. He happily gave us 2 tickets. The total price of the 3 tickets was Rs. 420 (incl. of taxes). He gave us Rs. 200 back saying that the price of the 2 tickets was Rs. 220. We collected the tickets and the money and left. Now that we had met the deadline (of collecting tickets) 2 hours before time, we went to Infinitea J I must say it was an interesting place (details later).

We finished the tea/snack/chat and went back to the mall. Ekta left for home and we climbed the 4 floors to the theatre. It was 9.15. The show was supposed to start at 9.30. We went towards the screen that was going to show the film. We were a bit surprised to see not a single person outside even before 15 minutes of the show. We asked the doorkeeper the time at which the show would start. He said something in Kannada pointing towards the screen. We didn’t understand much from the way he said apart from the fact that we should rush to the screen. I literally started deoing gaalis to them as we climbed the dark stairs of the screen - “Saale 15 minute pehle chalu kar hi kaise sakte hai…ajeeb city hai!”

Seats I2, I3 – just in front of the last stair. We saw one of the seats empty but on the other one a child was sitting. I requested the child to move to his seat as that was our seat. His father just stared at me as I told him. After around 15-20 seconds he told his son to move to the seat next to him on the other side. We sat down. Big B’s dialogue indicated that Shankar (onscreen name of Abhishek Bachchan) was dead. Aishwarya’s tears were rolling down her cheeks. The scene ended soon. I found that a bit odd because in part 1 of the movie, he wasn’t dead. But then I thought that the movie would take us to a flashback. Next scene and an elderly guy, Rao sahab, entered Big B’s room and soon he was shocked to see a boy dead in that room (later we discovered that he was Rao sahab’s grandson in the movie). I don’t know what made me think that but I just shouted, “Yeh kahin climax toh nahi hai?” And Kaustubh ran outside to ask what show was going on. I just heard him shout, “Get up!” And we went out.

5 minute pehle jahan ek bhi bandaa dikh nahi raha tha, achaanak se 20-25 dikhne lage! Kaustubh just could not control his frustration and so disclosed the suspense loudly, “Abhishek Bachchan marr jaata hai end mein!” And everyone was looking at both of us. I just could not believe that. Tab pata chala ki woh bachcha, jisko uski seat pe se uthaya tha, uska baapu humein ghoor kyu raha tha. Woh bhi soch raha hoga ki gadhe hai, baithne do.

Waise bhi pata tha bore karega Sarkar Raj aur oopar se climax bhi pata chal gaya tha. I didn’t know what I would do in the 2 hour show. Anyways, will end over here by saying that –

1. Beware of doorkeepers at theatres who speak in some other language.
2. Confirm twice before entering a movie screen if you are already in time, especially if they say that movie has already started.
3. If you find someone else sitting on your seat, ask him to get up. But if he/she/they give you a surprised look for some time and then get up without saying a single word, check the timing of the show.

PS:
1. We discovered in the end that 1 movie ticket was actually worth Rs. 220 and so the total price was Rs. 440. But because of that guy’s mistake, we saw the movie in half the price!
2. Apart from some powerful performances in the movie, didn’t really like it. One thing that I will remember is a girl that I discovered while waiting outside the screen. Kehna padega! - She had an Amazing smile!

Kahin toh hogi woh

2008-06-11T21:31:00.000+05:30

I think I heard this song for the first time last week. I heard it again yesterday and liked the serene tune of the song. That made me listen to it today again and now I am in love with the song, especially the lyrics. Sharing it here -

Film: Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
Music: A. R. Rahman
Lyrics: Abbas Tyrewala
Playback: Rashid Ali, Vasundhara Das

Kahin toh, kahin toh, hogi woh
Duniya jahaan tu mere saath hai
Jahaan main, jahaan tu
Aur jahaan bas tere mere jazbaat hain
Hoti jahaan subah teri, palkon ki kiranon mein
Lori jahaan chaand ki, sune teri baahon mein
Jaane na kahaan woh duniya hai
Jaane na woh hai bhi ya nahin
Jahaan meri zindagi mujhse
Itni khafaa nahin
Jaane na kahaan woh duniya hai
Jaane na woh hai bhi ya nahin
Jahaan meri zindagi mujhse
Itni khafaa nahin

Saansein kho gayi hain kiski aanhon mein
Main kho gayi hoon jaane kiski baahon mein
Manzilon se rahein dhundhti chali
Aur kho gayi hai manzil kahin raahon mein

Kahin toh, kahin toh, hai nasha
Teri meri har mulaqat mein
Hothon se, hothon ko
Chumte rehte hai hum har baat pe
Kehti hain fizaa jahaan
Meri zameen aasmaan
Jahaan hai tu, meri hansi
Meri khushi, meri jaaan
Jaane na kahaan woh duniya hai
Jaane na woh hai bhi ya nahin
Jahaan meri zindagi mujhse
Itni khafaa nahin
Jaane na kahaan woh duniya hai
Jaane na woh hai bhi ya nahin
Jahaan meri zindagi mujhse
Itni khafaa nahin

Shrushti - Hai koi sawaal?

2008-06-06T22:39:00.000+05:30

Though I was actually meeting Srushti for the first time, it didn't show up on her face when we met. In just no time we were friends and we started talking. I had a constant smile on my face as I talked to her. Even she had it but not as much as I had it :) It was already half past 11 and I realised she should go to sleep. I took her on the terrace and lifted her. I was curious to know what she was thinking!

(To make the interaction we had as close to the actual one, I am writing some parts in Hindi.)

I looked up and asked her pointing towards the stars, "Yeh itne saare dots kya hai?" She replied, "Yeh dots nahi, starrrrssss hai!" :D 4 year olds are not as dumb as we think they might be. Yes, Shrushti is a 4 year old cousin of mine who had come home :) I replied, "Par yeh stars hote kya hai?" For a fraction of a second she looked at the stars. But in another fraction she looked at me and asked, "Kyu tumhein nahi pata? Pehli baar dekh rahe ho kya?" Waah beta! Maar diya pehla chaata bahut jald hi! I said, "Haan pehli baar hi dekh raha hu. Tu bata na, yeh stars hote kya hai?" She replied, "Arey yeh woh Twinkle Twinkle little stars mein aate hai na woh hai." Le, itni si baat nahi pata thi!

Koi baat nahi. Hamari jholi mein bhi koi kam questions nahi the! Stars ke baaju mein hi clouds the. So i asked, "Achcha, aur yeh white white kya hai?" She said, "Cloudssss" I said, "Par clouds hote kya hai?" She said, "Clouds mein baarish hoti hai." I knew the reply and so responded in a flash, "Par baarish neeche kaise girti hai?" I never knew she also knew the question and responded equally fast, "Clouds hai na, upar neeche hote hai..aise aise (moving her inverted palm up and down)..aur isliye unmein se paani bahar gir jaata hai." And I just could not control my laughter. It was one of the best naive logics I had ever heard! Hats off to Shrushti!

So we moved to another corner of the terrace now. Behind our house is a huge neem tree. I pointed it out and asked her, "What is that?" She said, "Treeeeeeee" I asked her, "Achcha. Par kaisa hai na tree...Hum log kaise chal sakte hai, ghum fir sakte hai. Woh kyu nahi chalta? Woh kyu ek hi jagah khada rehta hai?" She responded, "Tree toh kitna bada hota hai. Kaise chal sakta hai? Chalne jaega toh gir nahi jaega?" My questions, which I thought could have been top scorers, got bowled out by her responses one after the other.

I just looked at her and laughed out loud! Even she did the same this time. But probably not for the same reason :) She had perhaps discovered the first fool in her life (and that too in 4 years) who was desperate to prove himself a fool by asking her questions, the answers of which she already knew!

Why the hell can't we understand such simple things - that stars toh wohi hote hai jo twinkle twinkle poem mein aate hai. Aur stars shayad bane bhi isiliye honge taaki koi poet yeh poem likh ke famous ho sake; agar koi vessel oopar neeche ho ke paani bahar gira sakta hai toh clouds kyu nahi? Why do we HAVE to maaro the evaporation/condensation fundas!? Roots pakad ke rakhta hai tree ko aisa kaun kehta hai. Woh toh waise hi bechare badnaam kiye jaate hai. Asli reason toh tree ka weight hai. Kahin chalne gaya aur gir gaya toh 10 aur logon ko le marega! Par itni baat hamare dimaag mein kahan ghusegi.

Jo bhi ho, I just can't describe the fun I had with her. Shrushti might be thinking, "Hai koi sawaal?" Par Shrushti ka, hai koi jawaab!?

Sunita

2008-06-06T21:47:00.000+05:30

(This is an old post that I had posted somewhere else on 3/8/07. Shifting it here since I am closing that one.)

Today I planned to take some food with me and so carried some bananas. As I was taking the bag out of the dicky, she looked at me. She realized that I had something to give them and so she kept looking at me. I called her. With her came another girl.

As they came to me, I opened the bag and gave both of them a banana. The other girl asked me to give two more as she also had a brother and a sister who were at home. I told her that the banana was for her and she should eat it. The other girl was quiet and was listening to what I was saying. I went on to distribute the bananas to other people.

While I was returning, I saw the quiet girl next to her mother. Her mother had a half eaten banana in her hand and was already chewing something. It must have been only around 30 to 40 seconds by the time I came back. So the chance that the girl had the opportunity to eat the banana was very less. I knew that this would be happening with most of the kids. They were just being employed by their parents. I was a bit frustrated as I could not get the child eat the food.

While I was returning back, the girl came and stood in front of me. I could not stop myself and so just ended up asking her why didn’t she eat the banana. She gave me a smile which made me even angrier at her mother. I told her that I knew she had given it to her mother. I asked her why she didn’t eat it and why she gave it to her mother. She had no answer. She just had no answer. But, she had a very pretty smile on her face. I asked her her name and she replied, “Sunita”. I asked her where she lived and who all were there in her family. She had two sisters, one of them had got married and had a child, and they lived near the river bank. Her father was no more alive and she had also lost one sister. When asked about her mother and what she did, she said that she begs. I knew it wasn’t her mother who really begged. It was her children whom she made to beg.

I asked her what she did through out the day. Unlike our society kids, who will have a stylish answer to such a question, she didn’t know how to answer it and so kept smiling. I asked her if she went to school. She said that she didn’t go to school but her sister’s kid went to school. I asked her if she knew how to count. She didn’t! She had such a lovely smile on her face that I just could not stop myself from talking to her. I told her that next time when I go there with banana, I will see to it that she eats the banana. She didn’t even say yes to that but instead, just kept smiling. I knew what it meant. I waved my hand and said bye to her.

I realized that the only thing that these kids need is some affection. The atmosphere they grow in is too noisier to have space for care and warmth. I wish to intrude this space of theirs with a hope to make them smile for whatever little time I can!

Do you look happy in the morning?

2008-04-03T22:37:00.000+05:30

(This post should have appeared a few months ago. Just found the note today and so posting it today. So read it as if it is some day in September '07 going on.)

IF YOU DON'T LOOK HAPPY AT 7 IN THE MORNING, YOU COULD BE FEELING SLEEPY.

5:50 AM in the morning and my alarm rings. Not because I have to get up and go for a jog or a gym or yoga but because I have to get ready and leave for a school at 7:00 AM. (Don’t laugh that to leave at 7 I get up at 5:50…I said the alarm rings. I didn’t say that I get up :)) In my entire schooling, only in 11th and 12th standard I had a morning school and that too I don’t remember how many days I actually went to the school and so I can say that jo kabhi zindagi mein nahi kiya…woh ab karna pad raha hai. But I have to say, I love going to school :)and be with the kids.

I have been going to schools here in Ahmebabad to conduct trials. Just wanted to share my experiences with kids over here, nothing technical, just – experiences with kids.

Thank God kids are not grown-ups!

Kids will have a whole lot of problems. Those problems are small and remain small. They don’t turn into major problems just because they are not grown-ups (just ask yourself what a mess you make out of a small problem in the attempt to solve it).

Lesson 1: For each and every small problem you will be called. If the machine is not on, you will be asked if it has to be put on or should they use some other machine. For every small pop-up message you will be called – whether it be serious error messages or some messages like “Congratulations. You answered 5 consecutive questions correctly.” (For the latter, its just that they, unlike us, know to share the small small joys.)

Lesson 2: They will keep asking questions and bother you even if they know the answer. They will know that the question is loading and it will come once the green status bar is filled with dots. But they will just keep calling you and ask, “Whennnnnn willllll the question come?” They are told daily that they can do it online even from home but even then they will ask, “Can I do it from home today?”

Lesson 3: They are patience-less creatures and on top of that they test our patience which is even less than theirs. They know that they have to press the button once it becomes active. But even then they will just keep clicking the button (am not sure if the button gets frustrated due to that and becomes active…ke bhai le bass…khatam kar ab! ;)). They know that you are the only opponent who has to fight against all of them but still they will keep poking you. The class has 48 students and I can bet that at any time no less than 25-30 hands are up for some or the other stupid (as in adult terminology) doubt. You will have to run from one end of the lab to the other, solve the doubt and go the next kid and they will keep shouting till you attend them. And if you miss any one of them by chance, they will say, “Sir, you never come when I call!”

Lesson 5: Those tiny cheaters (read as creatures) are very smart. One day the net was not working and I asked them to talk to me about things that they like and ones they don’t…what they want to do when they grow up and those standard stupid things (as in kids’ terminology ;)) like what do you want to become. I asked one girl in a corner to start. They were too shy and said that I should start and they would follow me. So I said ok and shared what I wanted to say. And then none of those cheaters (read as creatures :)) followed me and instead started laughing when I asked them to start :)(maybe they might have found me funny saying that I don’t want to become anything in my life…and instead I wished I could go back to school and study and enjoy like them).

Lesson 6: Be careful! They will sometimes ask you to do funny things. There’s a girl in class 6 who just keeps smiling all the time. One day I was standing besides her and she looked at me and the ceiling. The ceiling has some low parts one of which was just above my head. She looked at me and said, “Sir, can you touch that ceiling?” And I looked at her…she was smiling. I touched the ceiling with my hand and she started laughing :)

Lesson 7: Their interpretation of the surroundings (including humans and their nature) is sometimes very naïve but no doubt unarguable at times. One day the net wasn’t working in the morning and so as usual I allowed them to play games. This had happened many times before but unlike the other days, I was sitting quietly on a chair (don’t remember what was going on in my mind). One of the kids saw me sitting and asked me, “Sir, are you feeling sleepy?” I asked, “How do you know?” He said, “Because you are not happy today.” I had heard about this that kids observe very small small things about their teacher’s behaviour, but experienced it personally for the first time. They had never seen me quiet maybe.

I think I’ll stop here. From stupid requests (in adult terminology ofcourse) like “May I go to drink water/toilet” to intelligent responses like “How many more questions do I have to answer to clear this level?” all I can say is I am loving it.

The Imagination Bicycle

2008-03-03T23:01:00.000+05:30

“Bahut accha hai. Par kuch fit nahin ho raha. Samajh mein nahin aa raha kya. But love it.”

This was the comment that I received from Apu on this pic. And it made me look at it again and see what it was about the pic that he liked. Usse bhi samajh to nahi hi aya tha :) par socha chalo try karte hai! What I vaguely remember is that the only thing that had made me click the pic was an object that was supposed to be outside, on the road; but it was inside a house. Honestly, I had not thought much while pressing the click button. But now, having received this comment, when I look back at the pic, I find many interesting things about it.

The thoughts are definitely mine, can be called fictitious and are not related to any object, living or dead. Any resemblance might just be a coincidence :) So don’t think much!

Look at the photo again. There is a house with doors open. The doors are having carvings, indicating that they are probably made of wood and are apparently pretty old. The opening into the house is pretty narrow, perhaps characteristic of the old houses. There is a pipe that is going inside the house; or probably outside (I don’t remember observing it in that detail). Chances are high that it is coming outside, from the tap somewhere inside, on the first floor (I can say that because the pipe is rising as it goes in), so that water can be sprayed outside the house (it is an old practice, followed by many people so as to keep their houses clean and cool outside). And there are a few electricity meters, looking old because of the wooden plate on which they are fixed, but are actually new, replaced by the company (I know because I have similar ones at my home).

And finally coming to the point, there is a bicycle, resting against the wall of the room. Look carefully. It is a bicycle, a means of transportation. It is supposed to be outside the house and not inside. Again look carefully. The front wheel is nicely locked with the cross metal bar so that it can’t be moved. The reason the possessor of the bicycle might have kept it inside is the fear of it getting stolen, if kept outside. Funny! Isn’t it? Not really. It somewhere depicts the condition of the human mind. Not all, but definitely some. It wants to be outside but it’s not allowed to be; just because of the fear of it getting wasted. It wants to be free, but it is kept locked most of the time; unfortunately, again due to some kind of fear. It can’t move on its own but it can definitely carry someone on it, if made effort by that someone.

Shouldn’t the bicycle be lying outside? Shouldn’t the mind be let free most of the time? Shouldn’t the bicycle be kept unlocked when it is under one's supervision? Shouldn’t our mind be allowed to imagine when we are there to consciously bring it back to the desired state? Shouldn’t we make an effort to ride the bicycle, travel and explore places? Should our mind be allowed to think, go beyond the expected reality and explore something new, something true?

Let’s ride the bicycle of imagination!

Jee! Talk!

2008-02-25T23:56:00.000+05:30

Gmail users might be aware of these situations that I am just going to describe. This is what we do each morning – wake up, go to the loo, POL (sounds similar to LOL? Yes…Pee out Loud!) and then brush our teeth. This is analogous to what we do each morning in office - put our PCs on, login, reply to official mails and then log into Gmail! It has become a habit for us and I won’t be surprised if few years down the line we find this thing in a kid’s textbook saying ‘Daily Gmail habits’!

So why has Gmail penetrated our virtual lives so much? What do we actually do on Gmail? Keep our status available or busy and wait for people to email us? Or keep searching some or the other email all the time? Or keep emailing others all the time? I would really like to meet the person who says yes to these questions. Hardly does anyone use Gmail as an official email id given the free email ids available for each company’s employee. Then what the hell do we do there?

I think the answer lies in one of the features of Gmail, Gtalk. Let’s go back to almost where we started, slightly changing the question that we asked. What do we do once we log into Gmail? Do we check the few emails that have come in the few hours we have been offline? No! We look for the green and red buttons (with a slit :)) that appear on the left hand side of the page, showing our friends who are online. After having looked briefly at those buttons and counting them somewhere at the back of the mind, we start looking for names, in alphabetical order. We look for the certain characters, certain names and the colour of the button against their name. We wait for the colour of the buttons to change at times. We may not start talking to those having green/red buttons, or sometimes, with the ones we are expecting to have green/red buttons, but we may still keep going back, again and again to the page to check if their buttons are still coloured. And sometimes we even wait for the names to swing left and right on the minimized window of Gmail :) I find it pretty interesting!

And that’s not the only thing that we do. We do wait for some buttons to turn green/red and as soon as they do, we just can’t stop ourselves talking to them. Whether the discussions have a meaning or not is a different thing. After all, who cares! It’s the virtual adda where we meet! Right?

I am happy to be one of the users of Gmail and have the privilege of experiencing all the things mentioned above. I would really like to thank Gmail, for making the talk possible! I would have felt really lonely in this crowded world in its absence. Thanks once again!

Fly

2008-02-04T22:51:00.000+05:30

Aeroplanes have always fascinated me. I remember looking up at the sky, looking for them every time I heard them roaring. Looking through the trees, behind tall buildings, in all directions, just to get a glimpse of it. I remember looking at the thick white trail some of them left behind and then following it till the end just to find out the one that had made it. I remember sleeping on terrace at night, staring at the dark sky with twinkling dots and then finding a flashing, moving dot, an aeroplane traveling at night. There are many sweet memories linked to the last one :)

A year back I got to board an aeroplane for the first time. And I have boarded it a few number of times after that. Of course not to say that I have stopped looking for them when they pass roaring now. The curiosity still remains the same. In fact it has increased a bit more.

The only difference is that some time back, I used to curiously look at the plane passing by and now I even look at the earth as it carries me in it. As the plane takes off, it not just carries us away from the land but also sets our brain in the zoom out mode. The people, the houses, the trees, the buildings – all, decrease in dimension as we start flying. It just gives you an amazing view of things, whether on land from which you are moving away or the sky in which you are flying.

Of the few things that I remember as I have flown a few times in the past year are –

- View of the cities, full of bright dots at night. And as the plane lands, the light sources – the street lamps, the headlights etc. which appeared initially as points, increasing in diameter and becoming full big sources, lighting everything around. The straight lines formed by the point light sources emerge as roads lighted by the street lamps. I just can't describe it in words here!

- View of the sun rising at the horizon.

- A splendid view of the clouds, looking like blobs of cotton, flooring the sky :)

- View of the plane passing through the clouds, with the clouds knocking at the windows and the body of the plane, as if asking us to allow them to enter inside :)

I still love to watch the planes from the ground and wonder if someone sitting inside could see me staring at them :)

I am proud of you!

2007-12-19T21:57:00.000+05:30

I drive a scooter that is 11 years older than me. Its the Italian - Vespa 150 model. My dad bought it almost after 7 years from when it was born. He used it for 24 years and from the year 2002, I have been using it. I hate people (by people i especially mean car-drivers) who make me apply brakes of my scooter.

Day before yesterday, I was as usual late for my office and was driving at the maximum possible speed that the engine of my 34 year old scooter could support. A car was in front of me and as expected, I had to apply brakes. Instant reaction was of course yell at the driver. But for the first time, I felt proud of the car-driver. Not only that, I was surprised that I felt proud of one more person who was not the car-driver, a young boy waiting at a bus stand.

They were just another citymates of mine. So what was so special about them?

The driver applied the brakes because a blind man was crossing the road. Seeing that the young boy came running towards that man, caught hold of his hand and slowly made him cross the road.

Great job! I was proud of my citymates. We should do things just as we would like them to be done for us. If we can shout at a person driving madly when we are crossing the road, should we not slow down when someone else is crossing the road? How many of us do that? Do you do that? There are many such blind men in our cities, many old people who cross roads in heavy traffic, many women, many men and many more kids who do so. If you are doing what those two guys did, I am proud of you too!

The Sholay Effect!

2007-10-28T16:17:00.000+05:30

Yesterday while coming back from Mumbai, I was a bit early at the station. I got into the train and found my berth. I started reading the book "Sholay, The Making of a Classic" by Anupama Chopra.

Soon I found myself surrounded by 4 policeman. The first one (I guess he was the boss) asked me, "Kahan jaa rahe ho?". I replied, "Ahmedabad". He then asked me, "Job kahan karte ho?". I replied, "Educational Initiatives".

I guess he was inquiring because of the red alert that was announced in the city a day or two ago. And on top of that, my beard and my moustache might have made me a potential cause of that alert.

But before that guy could ask any more questions, the second one just recognised the picture on the cover page of the book. He just exclaimed "Sholay!!!" And he grabbed the book from my hand. He stared at the picture (of Veeru sitting on top of Jay and playing the mouthorgan in the song Yeh Dosti) for a while. I thought he was reading the title of the book "Sholay, The Making of a Classic". But soon I realized that he wasn't. He asked me, "Sholay ki poori story release ho gai kya?" I replied, "Nahi, Sholay ki making par kitaab hai." He replied, "Ohh achcha…making of Sholay."

I was waiting for more questions to come from their side. But instead, I was shocked to see all four of them just gripped by that cover page photo. They returned me the book and just walked away.

That's what I would call, The Sholay Effect!

What does it mean to be shelterless?

2007-07-29T19:26:00.000+05:30

It had just started to drizzle. But I didn’t want to cancel my plans. I wanted to go and meet him. So I waited. I finished my lunch. I could see the house next to ours clearly, without any rain drops hindering the view. I dumped my notepad, pen and my new book, 'A Fine Balance' into my jhola and left.

The clouds harbingered the arrival of thick rains. I took a shuttle auto and headed towards the railway station. It again started raining a little, but stopped in a while. By the time I reached the station, around 200 m away, the rains had begun. I requested the autowala to take me near the station. But he explained the inconvenience he might have to face if he took that route. I considered his plight and decided to move on my feet.

I was thrilled to see something that I had just heard of but never seen for myself. My skin could not sense any kind of sensation due to cold drops of rain. But my eyes could sense the vision of those drops falling around 100 m from where I was. Not to complicate it any more, I could see rain falling on the opposite side but not where I was.

As if that was not thrilling enough, I could see another view where rain had stopped falling on the opposite side, moved a bit farther and in few seconds, even my skin could sense it. I really enjoyed it.

I started walking towards the station, picking up speed at each single step, in the haste of escaping the rains, avoiding getting wet and reach a shelter as soon as possible. But soon I had to face the unavoidable situation. It just started pouring cats and dogs and I had to run to reach the nearest shelter, a small open stall with a blue plastic sheet on top.

I hardly managed to fit my slim body in the thin strip of space available to stand. I wasn’t alone. There was another boy standing at the other corner, who wanted to go to Manekchowk (I knew that because he shouted to call an auto) but had to fit himself in the thin strip just as me. The stall owner was busy covering the traveling bags so that they could get good shelter and not get wet.

We could not avoid rains for more than a minute. The owner finished his packing and shouted at the boy, calling him by a rude, offending word, asking him to get lost from HIS shelter. The boy ran away in a flash of a second. I knew that next it would be my turn. He went past me, murmuring something to the boy. He then asked me to go away.

I respected his space and moved out thinking what I would do if I was in his place. I could not think much as the rains were hitting hard on my skin. I soon reached the next stall, with a blue plastic sheet, a small dhaba. I wasn’t alone again, but was feeling secured. There were many more passers like me who were trying to protect their heads. The space was enough for us to fit breadthwise but not heightwise. I was secure in a sense but uncomfortable in a way. I had to bend my back so as to reduce my height by around 2 feet to fit in the approximately 4 feet high stall. I had to maintain that posture for around 5 to 10 minutes. The rain fell at the same rate, maintaining the number of drops hitting a given surface in a given time. The height attained by a drop after hitting the ground was high enough to say that the rains were hitting hard :).

After a while, the rain reduced its rate a bit and the owner announced that he wanted to reduce the mass per unit area. In short, he asked us to leave the space as soon as possible. I wished I was returning home, a place which I could say was my permanent shelter, a place I could stay for a time enough to live my entire life, a place I could head towards with the drops of rain drenching me completely. My feet had become dirty due to the dirt carried up by the bouncing rain drops. I didn’t know how to clean them. But I saw my fellow shelter-takers cleaning theirs by the water that fell from the top of the blue plastic sheet. I tried to imitate them :).

The rain hadn’t stopped. But I could not wait there for long. So I took a 30 second long sprint and reached the station which was less than 100 m away. I bought the ticket, found my train and took a window seat.

The thing that I had been constantly thinking about throughout this short trip was that how do shelterless people feel in such a situation. The answer I have right now is, I don’t know. But am sure I will find an answer to it.

Am on my way to meet him and its still raining…..

Rain, Rain, Rain Again.....

2007-07-03T13:01:00.000+05:30

I started from Ahmedabad for the student interviews (Mumbai) in Gujarat Mail at 10 pm. The train reached Nadiad and had a long hault there due to rains. I went off to sleep. I got up in the morning at 6:30 and noticed that the train wasn't moving (I also noticed that i had a very sound sleep which i generally don't get in train as it keeps on shaking a lot). Thought that it might be some station. But then tried to look down through the window from the top berth (62!) and could see tracks on one side and water on the other.

I got down and went outside to check. Found that it was raining heavily. I asked one guy who was standing at the doors what place it was. He told me that the train was between Ankleshwar and Surat (200 kms from Ahmedabad and 300 kms far from Mumbai! Tab pata chala mujhe itni achchi neend kaise ayi thi raat ko!). Ho gaye student interviews! Called up few colleagues and finally cancelled the mumbai interviews.

The train was standing and enjoying rains in the midst of green fields. The fields around were swaying vigourously in the rains. The rains were falling diagonally because of the strong wind. Nothing could be seen till far except the rainwater, fields and few distant houses. It looked as if some town was nearby. The train was not moving because of the rains. It seemed that other trains had also stopped because not a single train crossed our train. I had already cancelled the Mumbai trip and I was getting down at Surat. But till the train moved, the only thing I could do was enjoy the rains. The rains slowed down and the whistle blew.

The train started moving slowly. The town looking distant neared. And the water that was seen in the fields started appearing on the tracks. A station was coming close. All the tracks were under water. By the time the train reached the station, half the wheels of the train were under water. The train was moving too slowly. It was looking a bit scary. After stopping for about 3 to 5 minutes, the train started again. It sailed through the waters and finally managed to reach a comparatively dry place. The road ahead seemed to be clear and so the train caught up speed and soon reached Surat.

Surat seemed to be comparatively quiet with rains falling intermittently. After a good night’s sleep and all the beautiful scary scenes, I got to reach my uncle’s place! But…I missed my camera!

MindSpark!

2007-06-26T14:22:00.000+05:30

I know this is a bit old but thought of posting it.....

1^st October, 2006. I decided to go to the MindSpark Centre for two reasons – one was kids and the other, obviously, Apoorva. I was not aware nor informed what I was supposed to do over there. The only thing I was told, in fact asked, was if I could sell MindSpark to the parents. The answer was just what he might have expected from me – “NO!”

I went there thinking I would be spending 1-2 hours observing kids. I didn’t know it would end up longer, with me getting involved in it. I entered when the 3^rd session was almost 70% done. 7 kids were there and I started looking at the messed-up place around. Kids were trying to fold some paper and observe how it fell. I had no clue (Thanks Apoorva!) what the activity was or what they were doing. So I started asking the kids what they were doing. They explained me quite well that they were trying to find the reason why one of the folded strips of papers fell in a different way as compared to the other – different in the direction of rotation.

Initial 5-10 minutes were nothing but chaos. Kids appeared tired. And suddenly I heard a kid calling “Sir”. To my surprise, I found that I was the only Sir (;)) in that room as Apoorva had also gone out. I went to that girl. She was desperately trying to unravel the mystery. So I thought of helping her help solve the mystery for me too.

I started asking her questions and in turn got question from her. We were trying to formulate a theory and test it. She had 2 propellers (technical name for those folded strips of paper J) with her, each one of them folded in a different way, opposite to each other, and as a result they both fell rotating in opposite directions. We started by writing down points that were different between the two sets and came up with things like different coloured clips (holding the cut folds), different arrangements of the two clips (one horizontal and one vertical) and different ways in which the paper strips were folded. So our theory was ‘the two propellers rotated in opposite directions because something, of the 3 we had noted down, was different for the two’. We decided to test each and every factor.

I was just trying to play the role of a torch-bearer in a dark theatre. The one who had the ticket and was searching for the seat and see the movie was that kid.

I asked her what to do if we wanted to test if the colour of the clips affected rotation. She didn’t answer for a while. Perhaps, she was thinking about something. I sort of gave the answer “let’s try using two same-coloured clips”. The spontaneity with which she said “Yeah” indicated that she was probably thinking the same thing, but was just afraid to give such a simple stupid answer and maybe she was more happy to hear it from a fool like me. J So we tried the experiment with two same-coloured clips. But they still rotated in opposite directions.

So I asked, “What should we do now?” She said, “We should try to see if the arrangement of clips affected rotation.” We made both the clips hold papers in the same way (vertically) and then again tried observing rotation. But it didn’t matter. So we were left with only one option that needed testing before we could conclude anything.

We had observed that the folds of paper were different in the two sets and so I asked her what should we do to test it.

This time she gave an answer without waiting for me to give one. She said, “We should arrange the cut paper strips in both of them in such a way that the folds are same in both of them.” It was indeed the answer I wanted. This time, I think , she must have thought “Ye gadhe ko shayad nahi ayega. Mujhe hi batana padega.”

We folded the papers in the same way. But to prove myself, that this gadha was smarter than she must have thought, I purposely arranged the clips in different ways (one horizontally and the other vertically). We tried to observe them fall. Since they were folded in the same way, they both rotated in the same direction.

So I asked her whether we could conclude that it was the fold of paper that determines its direction of rotation.

To my surprise (I was really happy to get this surprise!) the 4^th grade kid proved that a gadha is a gadha however smart he is. J She said, “No. We cannot. We should not only have the folds same but also the clips in the same direction. Only then we can conclude that the fold of paper determines the direction of rotation.” This is what I think can be called a MindSpark!

And we repeated the experiment with the clips oriented in the same way and finally we established out theory.

I had never thought that something like this could also excite me on a Sunday afternoon except my sweet sleep.

Thanks Apoorva for not informing me about the activity nor about the way I had to conduct the activity. If I would have received those instructions/”training”, I would not have enjoyed it to the full extent I did.

Dharma Matibhya Udgritaha

2007-02-18T23:45:00.000+05:30

No doubt V. V. Chopra took 5 years writing Eklavya. A movie that can be called good not because of its ear-friendly songs or beautiful locations, but because of a very key point being made. With various kinds of emotions like anger, jealousy, fear, loyalty and love being displayed, the story revolves around some eight characters.

The story starts with the guard of the Devigarh Palace, Eklavya, narrating to the prince of the kingdom, Eklavya, the story of Eklavya, the obedient student who at the order of his so-called considered guru, Dronacharya, didn’t even think once to cut his thumb. On hearing this story, the prince immediately responded that what the student Eklavya did was wrong. Whereas the guard believed that what he did was right as it was his duty as a student.

The movie tries to display two sets of people. One who firmly believes that their duty, which they have been assigned and which has been done and passed on from generations is their religion, their Dharma. Whereas the second set believes that Dharma Matibhya Udgritaha. Dharma is what appears correct to one’s conscience.

The first set is represented by the royal guard of the palace, Eklavya. His father had drowned saving life of his king. His previous nine generations had been doing the duty of protecting the palace and the king and hence he was assigned the same when his father died. At the orders of the former queen, he had to help the then queen Rani Suhasinidevi conceive a child, as the king was impotent. But he and the queen promised each other that it would remain a secret. They didn’t even want their children (the queen delivered twins – a boy and a girl) to come to know about it. This promise was taken as his Dharma and he followed it irrespective of his feeling for his children.

The second set was represented by the queen, Rani Suhasinidevi. She had promised the guard that the children would never come to know that the king was not their real father. However, when she became old and was about to die, she disclosed the secret not only to the king but also to her son. She also gave explanation to her son why she did that. She told him that Dharma according to her was that which is born out of one’s intelligence and what one’s self feels correct. She felt that his son should be aware who his real father was. And since his real father was getting old, he should even take care of him and be his support. However, she left the decision to his son, asking him to decide his own Dharma.

Both the sets of people pursue their emotions in a different way based on their stand about Dharma. The queen who is about to die, instead of covering her emotions for the father of her children, calls his name again and again in front of the king. This even turned out to be the reason for her death. On the other hand, the guard always tries to kill his feeling for his children. Even he feels happy when his daughter smiles and even he wants to hug his young son. This is clearly demonstrated in a beautiful dialogue – "Mann to mera bhi bahut karta hai unko gale lagaane ko. Par humein woh adhikaar kahan; sewak jo thehre."

However, when it comes to the prince to decide his Dharma, he decides to go as per his mother’s definition of Dharma. He promises that he will take care of his father, the guard. He does not even hesitate to kill his so-called father, the king, in order to perform his Dharma.

Finally when the guard comes to know about it, he, who strongly felt that his Dharma was to protect the king, decides to kill his own son. He tells him that what he did was wrong. But the prince explains him why he did that. He even tells him what his mother had told him about Dharma. But the prince, feeling guilty for having been the reason of an innocent man’s death, decides to shoot himself. It was at this point that a transition takes place in the guard’s self. He protects him and accepts that the queen was right.

A very deep and an important point have been put across by the means of this movie. Though it has tried to make it as clear as possible, it might not get conveyed to the mass who might have expected a longer, interesting story from the film.

Today's lesson...

2007-01-28T00:07:00.000+05:30

Be like the flowing river,
Silent in the night.
Be not afraid of the dark.
If there are stars in the sky, reflect them back.
If there are clouds in the sky,
Remember, clouds, like the river, are water,
So, gladly reflect them too,
In your own tranquil depths.

Manuel Bandeira

Seeing the unseen!

2007-01-25T00:43:00.000+05:30

15th January, 2007. It was around 6.45 pm. We had just heard Kate, a passionate social worker narrating her experiences with kids and life. Perhaps it ignited a spark in us, me and Nirupam, it shook our selves, asking whether we were also passionate to the same extent or not, whether the spirit in us to do things was dying, whether we were also passionate to the same extent or not.

We left office and I was just kicking my scooter so that I could drop him and go back home. I had just put the helmet over my skull when he started her topic. He said that Krain was a genius and her solutions worked. He had told us about his experience with a kid at Mindspark who used to detach from the group when he felt he was being ignored by the rest. She gave a solution to the problem and it worked. Her point was that kids should themselves take the responsibility of their learning. This left us with the question that why we didn’t get such ideas.

I admitted the reason I ran away from teaching was that I was afraid of not delivering the required to kids. I didn’t want my inability to communicate clearly be the reason for kids not learning which they should be. He asked me if that was the reason or was it a confidence issue. I was clear that it wasn’t a confidence issue. He added that even he sometimes failed to go along with kids. He didn’t have answers to situational problems arising and had to leave the problem unsolved.

The question that immediately came to us was “Are we enjoying what we are doing?” The answer was loud and clear “No”.

(Ab tak mera sar woh matke ke kaaran bhaari ho chuka tha and so I removed it. Ibdun was leaving and she just could not stop herself from asking “Office mein baat kam karte ho jo yahan khade khade kar rahe ho?”)

We both had a view that it was very important to enjoy our work. We remembered those days when we used to do analysis and each day our minds would remain constantly sparked. Why did that charge dry out? We didn’t know what had changed. The problem that was bothering us was, we were not enjoying our wok and hence we were not able to deliver which we were able to.

We had discussed some analysis ideas that day and we also had a meeting with Rana regarding that new project. Both those incidences pointed to the same thing. We were doing it for the sake of doing it. We had reasons why we thought so. Initially when we used to do analysis, we were always eager to see the result. But that day we left the discussion and didn’t even bother to execute it. Regarding discussion about that project, we felt we didn’t do it the way we should have done it. We took interest in answering questions about the execution part of the project which we thought we were not much interested in. We didn’t discuss points about the actual purpose of the project.

(It was high time we were talking in the parking lot. I desperately needed a cup of chai and so we went to Alalbhai’s kitli and had maska bun and chai.)

We smsd Rana asking if she found the discussion we had, meaningful. She called us and asked why we were asking that question. She said she found the points valuable and she had also framed a basic structure for the project. We didn’t know what to do. It was around 8.15 pm and I remembered a pending work I was supposed to complete ASAP. We left from the office but kept discussing the problem on the way.

We were standing at his apartment gate. We wanted a solution to our problem. We thought of talking to people about our dilemma. Since Darrish was on tour, we had no option but to wait till he came if we wanted to talk to him. Nirupam told me that he was not feeling confident as he had failed twice. In that case I suggested him to do what he was good at. I told him to take up random projects and complete them as he was good at doing that. So the question that came up then was “Are we afraid of taking responsibilities?” I told him that I was not feeling confident that the maths part had almost been given to me. This indicated that even I was running away from taking responsibility. He told me that he had learned from experience that in that case, instead of running away, we should ask for help whenever needed (which we had been avoiding till then).

Then came the turning point of this entire discussion. He told me he had started feeling that Darrish had lost confidence in him. I asked him how he knew that. He told me about the discussion they had and how on mentioning that he was not feeling confident about taking up tasks (as he had failed), he said that even he felt the same. I asked him if that was the reason why he had started avoiding certain things? He said he didn’t know. I told him how I felt once when Darrish took the analysis of that project into his hands in spite of knowing that some of us had already done the basic work. From that day I felt I was not good at analysis and so he didn’t allow me to work any further on it (in that project). That was also one of the reasons why I had stopped taking interest in analysis (though I always believed that it should be done). But I also felt that he had not done anything new. The project ended up with the same findings that we had come up with, but with more finely done analysis. Even we could have done it given the time and the opportunity. For us the deadline was a deadline and for him it wasn’t; it stretched till he was almost satisfied.

Both of us were silent for a while, we were thinking something, perhaps the same thing. I think we were relating those various incidences to each other and were trying to look for patterns there. The threads had started to untangle themselves and each cord was leading to the same root. Everything was getting clearer and clearer. There was a tricky smile on our face.

We both finally agreed that it wasn’t anything else but it was our ego that was coming in the way. We never knew when the egoists in us started controlling us. We never wanted that to happen. We decided to be conscious and warn ourselves whenever we felt the egoists were taking charge.

However, we were still left with the fundamental question we had started the discussion with, why were we not enjoying our work and what should we do so that we enjoyed it?

It was almost 9.30 pm. The 2.5 hrs’ discussion was really fruitful. We discovered the passive selves within us that were creating hassles in our day-to-day life. But at the end we were proud. Proud not for possessing such entities in us, but for being brave enough to confess that we had ego. We finally discovered the dogs within us!

But the next question was, “What next?” We had to solve the problem. I found the answer to this problem while reading the chapter ‘The Sixth Tuesday We Talk About Emotions” in ‘tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom. The answer was Detachment. Here is a part of that text:

“I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie’s approach was exactly the opposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won’t hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, “All right, it’s just fear, I don’t have to let it control me. I see it for what it is.”

Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely-but eventually be able to say, “All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.”

“Detach,” Morrie said again.”

So what we needed was to consciously look for the moments when our egos tried to overtake us and once found, detach from it. We have already started practicing it. We hope to see the results soon!

Why are definitions important?

2006-12-24T20:36:00.000+05:30

Maths is a subject that relies heavily on logic and hence it becomes very important to define terms in math.

Why are definitions important?

Why is it essential to define a term very strongly? Why can’t the understanding of something be enough?

Is 1 a prime number?

No, because it is divisible only by 1 and no other number. So, 1 is not a prime number.

But one can argue that -1 X -1 = 1 and so there are two factors of 1, -1 and 1. Also, 2 X 0.5 = 1, 4 X 0.25 = 1 and this way there can be more than 1 factors⁺ of 1. And so, 1 can be called a composite number.

But still, 1 is not a composite number. Why? The answer lies in the definition of a prime number.

A prime number is defined as “A prime number is a positive integer greater than 1 that has no positive integer divisors other than 1 and itself.”

⁺ Now one can even argue that 0.5 cannot be called a factor of 1 because a factor is defined as “A factor is a portion of a quantity, usually an integer or polynomial that, when multiplied by other factors, gives the entire quantity.” However, according to this definition, 0.5 can be called a factor of 1. But, in number theoretic usage, a factor of a number n is equivalent to a divisor of n (Ore 1988, p.29; Burton 1989, p. 26). This brings us back to one more term and its definition, divisor. A divisor of a number n is a number d which divides n, also called a factor. This way, we can go round and round the logical bush. A point will remain valid in math until no one else finds a logical way of proving it wrong.